Trickling like a bad ass...

Ey-up Trickle munchkins... maybe you tricklers don't expect this kind of street talk from the 'little trickle' but sometimes trickle-fans you need a few loaded words to get people to tune in...

I'm feeling a bit flipping peeved at the moment, and I'll tell you for why... It's post-Christmas, Post-NYE, Post New Year's Day... but what the ducarnard are we pre???

Well, whilst eighties wrestling legends the Legion of Doom retired whilst WWE was still in it's WWF prime, they have clearly now been re-united in the form of Clegg and Cameron with their slightly incestuous 'seperated at birth' appeal..


The coalition sweethearts have come across all somber in a period where we are still supposed to be celebrating nine ladies dancing, eight maids-a-milking, seven swans-a-swimming on so on and so forth.

Granted the presents have been opened, the sweets have been stuffed and the pre-christmas leg wax is starting to show a little re-growth BUT Señor Cameron and Señor Clegg... We are still in the 12 Days of Christmas so for the love of God could you be a bit more cheerful?

Normally when we move into a new year, people wish each other great happiness, health and prosperity for the coming months... Alright, Alright so clearly they have no real influence on how your year progresses but in the manner of a lovely person - with reference to lovely people see Pamela from Gavin and Stacey... see my lovely Auntie Lynda... see my wonderfully legendary friend Nev and most likely her mum Meags... it is only fair to flipping trickle a little bit of festive love so early in the year.

So why oh why oh why Davenick (in the vain of Brangelina, Bennifer), must you already tell us that 2011 is going to borderline rubbish!!! Just throw us a public sector carrot why don't you! We are by the majority, and for definite all you tricklers are, a bunch of legends who don't deserve your grim reaper sithe-swinging ways.

So next year, you coalition of pessimistic plastic faces, why don't you chuck us a Cheryl Cole salute, a Simon Cowell wink and if you are really struggling give us a Susan Boyle moustache wiggle to just let us know it'll be ok.

So tricklers, until the ball is dropped to welcome in 2012, if you take on the year with the same determination as Sanka and Yul Brenner from Cool Runnings and the rest of the beautiful Jamaican Bobsled team who wouldn't let the fact they hadn't ever seen snow hamper their sledging ways... let me assure you that the next 362 days will be be filled with you being a bad ass who won't take no pessimistic trickles from any Tom, Nick or Dave....

Trickle it... Just a little bit...

You knows I love to trickle comrades... so I'm sorry after announcing that the trickle was back with avengence, I go and let you down and let the trickle dry up without warning. Don't worry - I wasn't dans the lock-up like the let-loose Lohan - but I certainly wasn't rubbing shoulders (or any other body part) with Ashley Cole's dirty mob living la vida Las Vegas either.

Enough of the confession, I ain't that interested in your whining. Trickle on someone elses time duck.

So trickometers - on naming this installment of the trickle, I was respectfully inspired by the legend of musical masterpieces that was the summer stonker 'Wiggle it'. But the pickle came when I tried to track down the track that allowed me to shake my tailfeather like a badass in the 90s. Hip-hop pioneers the Jungle Brothers was my first call... but had I answered this in any quality pub quiz... my answer would've been disgustingly wrong. And no-matter how much face i'd attempt on saving, the Robin Hood regulars would have thrown a dirty look in my direction and stormed to victory penning 2 in a Room as the lyrical masters. 2 in a room??? I've never flipping heard of them. Yet i've shaken my rump like a right one-o to their beats whilst letting them sink into oblivion. I'm ashamed...

So for this week tricklers, revisit the one-hit wonders. Hotstep to some Ini Kamoze. Wind to you waist like some Apache Indian or even let the beat go on with The All Seeing Eye. Let your one-hit wonders free. Let them have another week of fame tricklers. That's all they want. You never know - your tricky ways may inspire a revival. Put the Tony Rich Project on with pride...

Compliments on your tricks Tricklers... (Courtesy of Red Dragon feat. Brian & Tony Gold)

I'll trickle to my hearts content...

Alright trickle lovers,

It was made clear to me this week, that a life without a trickle ain't worth living. So after almost a year of leaving you bereft of trickling... the Trickle is back!

So what have I chosen to trickle about? Ash? No love - not ash... Ash has proven to be overated. Brian McFadden's tweeting outburst at former beau Kerry 'Mum of the Year 2004/2005' Katona?? No duck... out of order granted... but not the subject i'll be trickling on about on this occasion.

I've decided to highlight the cause of the Cougar. Should you have missed the legend that is the Cox in Cougar Town... you best get down the Living highway... connect up your cable and indulge in what is possibly the funniest bit of telly i've seen in my eighteen years (plus nine) of life. It's flipping hilarious! From the former Dawsons Creek beauty, to the balding Mr Torres and his cranky old wife, to the paper buddy of a neighbour who's hot to trot... In the words of the formerly popular Theakson and big gobbed Ball on Saturday morning telly... Miss it Miss out.

As per today's trickle, i'll be back thanks to the charcoal-necked trickle warrior that is Barratt inspiring me to let lose dans the net once again.

Let it be known Tricklets... good times! Word to your mother...

When Trickles go bad...

Ahoy my trickle-magnets!

Bit of a sombre trickle this week. You can have too much frivolity in the trickle and every trickler has their dark days so i'm bringing it to the table.

'Bad things come in three'. At least that's what they tell you. But what happens when more than three mishaps occur... is it like one of those episodes of Casualty where you know it's going to happen so it's just a matter of waiting? I hope not.

Is it these times of recession? Is it what happens every time a huge financial crash occurs? People just become instantly more depressed.

But not everyone is feeling the pinch apparently. Go on any high street and there's no shortage of queues and frisky shoppers swinging their reams of colourful bags, arms swaying through 180 degrees in a goose-stepping fashion. What is it about a good bout of shopping that makes you swing your arms? There's no greater pleasure.

Something happened this week that reminded me we have to carry on. Carry on despite what is being thrown at us and with our eyes firmly focussed on what's important.

Don't get in a Norris rut and complain about everything, just so you can have something to trickle about.

Don't let it become easy.

Don't leave just because it's become boring.

Every second is precious and some people's seconds are more limited. So we should never waste ours with rubbish.

We should endeavour to fill the rest of our seconds and the seconds of others with double the special-ness to honour the time lost.

So buck up Tricklers and put things in perspective...

What's tickled the trickle?

I'll tell you what's tickled the trickle... Only the mod-con that is television that's what!

For years I thought I was genuinely wasting my time watching telly. Perhaps revision in front of Nadia storming to victory in Big Brother wasn't the best idea, but I definitely think sometimes, just sometimes, it's an investment.

Top of my list and no tragedy in sight... Claire Richards: My Big Fat Wedding. What a legend she turned out to be eh? I was never a devotee of Steps but find me a person that didn't develop a soft spot for Claire in that programme.

Picture courtesy of BBC Three

But don't worry tricklefaces, my glasses aren't utterley clouded with the Body Shop's rose musk. Got to point out that whilst what Claire did was something like a phenomenon (thanks LL Cool J), there is a recession going if you hadn't noticed. Inspiring yes... but personal trainers and weight loss grand-costing camps aren't within everyone's chubby grasp.

Next on my top watches. Hi-fives all round at Waterloo Road. Adoption. Child Trafficking. Teacher love. Who can ask for more? And I tell you for why (nod to Bryn), Steph Haydock and Miss Mason always stand by people. Loyalty is a proper character asset.

As for The Apprentice... are we over it yet? I can't decide. I was excited about it's return but then I wonder if they're just a bunch of ego-loving gimps and then I can't decide if i'm bored again. All the seemingly nice guys: Maj, Paula and Rocky are out whilst eijits like Ben and Deborah stay. At least Geordie Phil has been ushered off in a taxi. Despite what Jim Bowen would say, "You CAN beat a bit of bully!"

Stick to your morals tricklers, whatever they may be, and it's sure to be "Great, Smashing, Super!"

Trickles, Tweets and Skype-rama!

All aboard the trickle my little chugboats...

Third weekly session of the trickle-oscopy here for you.

And I think i'm starting to get this blog malarchy. I feel like i'm crossing frontiers just without the cult following (as yet!). But soon, I know, there will be facebook sites just dedicated to the history of the trickle. And when that day comes, we'll stand shoulder to shoulder (or shoulder to arm pit as i'm not height-ist) and reminisce about the early drops.

In addition to this techno-genius, i'm twittering! Imagine! And i'm not just tweeting but i'm following. Obviously the tweets are going down a storm but still not living up to Philip Schofield or Jonathan 'Wossy' Ross level yet. They are like the super max strength twitterers whilst i'm more homeopathic. If you want to follow the twitter, you'll find me by searching for hanmeredith.

As for Skype... what a stroke of Genius. My sister is living dans the other side of the channel. And so, for kicks, we said let's sack the phone and try this video phone we keep hearing about. Brilliant! That's what it is. I could see her little face and everything. It goes without saying that we both tried swearing at each other to test it was working. But I am on board the Skype waggon and loving it so much, I wish I had shares.

So before I get sucked into that third world malarchy (or do I mean second life?), I'm going to get back to the reality asap.

Until next week... Keep it techno Tricklers...

Don't miss a trickle!

Ey up my little tricklers!

So far, so good I hope as far as the trickle goes.

As for a time line of trickles, I will be issuing a new trickle every week. Any more and you'd be saturated. So that's final...

All the best things are weekly anyway. Heat magazine, Question Time, Euromillions and Friday nights. With Neighbours (despite it's controversial new advert breaks), Jo Whiley and St Patrick's Day the only exceptions to this weekly mantra.

So a lot has happened around and about since the last trickle.

What about the Nottinghamshire man with his chicken-dung booby-trap? Sick of continually being broken into Joe Weston-Webb set up a catapult loaded with chicken muck ready to splatter the attacker. Joe's theory: He could sniff out the culprit! Surely this is the plot of the next Home Alone film? Macaulay Culkin would have loved that. Who's got a catapult handy in the garage though? Oh yes, that's right... just behind the bikes, in front of the freezer... Don't trip on the tool bag on your way...

Nottingham's Lace Centre shut its doors for the final time. One of the only remaining medieval buildings in the city, the Lace Centre's Severns Building stands below the Castle, with Robin Hood guarding it from across the street. I'll tell you this for nothing, he wants to get a new job.

The Lace Centre has said that lace making will never flourish again in the area. The skills will be lost and Nottingham will no longer be the lace city. So if we're not the lace city, we're not the Robin Hood city since the Tales of Robin Hood was allowed to go under... what kind of city are we? The Gun Crime city? I'm sure the tourists will be flocking.

Thank Goodness for Goose Fair because that's all we have going for us now. Please don't take our helter skelter... I just wouldn't recover.

Finally, a tribute to all those people who lost their lives in the Hillsborough Disaster in 1989. This week was the twentieth anniversary of the disaster in which 96 Liverpool football fans lost their lives when too many people were let into the FA Cup semi-final against Nottingham Forest.

To spare a thought for all those who were there, Forest fans and Liverpool fans alike and hope the football fraternity will never make those mistakes again.

Til the next trickle amigos...